- Rodgers and Hammerstein's Cinderella, 1965
I've always been a bit of a hopeless romantic. I'm not really sure how that happened, considering that my parents divorced when I was eight and they viciously hate each other, but somehow, I came out on the other side still believing in some version of happily ever after. Cinderella is at the top of the favorite fairy tales list -- maybe because it reinforces the idea that no matter how bad circumstances may seem or how many people kick you when you're down, a little sacrifice and a kind heart can eventually lead to everlasting love (a bit cheesy, perhaps, but not the worst idea I've seen on a TV screen).
Most of you reading this know that I just went through a pretty difficult breakup myself (immediately following a very traumatizing combination of a serious medical issue, the resultant car crash, and the revocation of my driver's license -- another post for another day). It stings a little less every day, as one might expect, but every now and then the hurt still takes my breath away. Sometimes I wish I could harden my heart and mind, develop an unrelenting cynicism, put my desire to marry and have children in the same category as my desire to win the lottery... but I can't. No matter how many times my heart is shattered, I keep hoping -- and I guess on some level, believing -- that finding a long-term partner to be happy and make babies with isn't totally out of the question.
I guess I am my mother's daughter in that regard -- despite how difficult that divorce must have been for her, she got right back in that saddle and started dating, eventually leading her to my amazing stepdad. It's difficult to imagine going through such a traumatizing relationship experience and being willing to open up to someone again, but she did, and she was rewarded handsomely. Maybe it will take a few more trials and errors and maybe the source will surprise me, as was the case with her; maybe I will come up with a less conventional way to arrange my life and be just as happy. I'm trying to move forward with both eyes open and mostly focused on myself, for now, and perhaps one day, things will fall into place in some form or another.
I guess we're all doing the best we can... but I think I can do better. Honestly, I think I deserve it. And pushing myself to return to this 30-Day Drawing Challenge is as good a place to start as any, don't you think?
No matter how how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true.
- Disney's Cinderella, 1950
